Personal Background
I was about 16 when I announced to my history class that "I hate people!"
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I uttered these heartfelt words after yet another class discussion about all the human evil in the world. Nazis, World Wars, starvation, racism, slavery... I do not even remember which of these we had discussed. I just remember ending the discussion with above sentiment, causing quite a bit of awkwardness in the room.
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"You guys are great, though!," I added, trying to ease the tension. (It did not work.)
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I was likely at my peak level of cynicism back then: fully believing that people are only ever motivated by selfish interest. There was no place for genuine kindness in my worldview. People seemed irredeemably bad, but at least I was smart enough to have figured it out! And generous enough to share this insight with everyone around me.
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Skip forward a few years. By the time I was applying to graduate school, I noticed something strange. I had become much less cynical! What had changed?
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Leading up to my cynical confession at 16, I had been the repeated target of bullies. Getting the best grades in class, not exactly a genius at physical education, wearing glasses, reading books... standard protocol. Often, when I would try to connect with others, all I did was make myself the target of some joke.
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Over time, I built up a façade of independence. I was convinced that I did not need others to be happy! People are mean anyways. I even played with fantasies of moving into the woods, Walden style, because who wants to live in a society as corrupt as ours?
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I always said my cynicism was driven by careful observation of all the evil I saw on the news and read about. This was certainly true - in part. In hindsight, however, my cynicism was less of a brilliant insight into human nature. Mostly, it was a defense mechanism, covering up the pain and loneliness I felt inside. It was a convenient identity at the time, and my biting sense of humor led my bullies to back off pretty quickly.
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Over time, however, some brave classmates of mine found the courage to befriend me. No matter how skeptical I felt about things, they showed up and we had a great time. I made more friends in college, where, all at once, reading books was no longer a crime! Now, in grad school, I even get paid to do it.
The Psychology of Cynicism
Whenever I chat with self-proclaimed cynics, they are quick to let me know what horrible things have made them cynical. Betrayal, once or repeated. Suffering they witness in others. Doomscrolling on social media.
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There is no one cause of cynicism, but what unites many causes is that they make sense. Few people choose cynicism because they feel like it. Cynics are more likely to be lonely, anxious, angry, distressed, and depressed. They have fewer social relationships and benefit less from the relationships they do have. They even die earlier on average. Cynicism may confer an identity of "seeing through things," but that identity seems to come at a high price.
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My research focuses on why people become cynical, and how they often get stuck in cynicism.
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In my theoretical work with Jamil Zaki, I investigate different social psychological mechanisms that get people hooked to a cynical mindset. For example, cynics seem to succumb to confirmation bias where genuine kindness is ignored or explained away. On an interpersonal level, they often fail to get corrective feedback: when people trust others, they find out if their trust is warranted; when people cynically distrust others, they might never find out if they were wrong. On a group level, pluralistic ignorance can maintain cynicism: surrounded by apparent cynics, it seems naïve and weak to choose kindness. Finally, on an intergroup level, people's tribalistic tendencies can get them stuck with cynical, overgeneralized, and overly hostile views of an outgroup.
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In my empirical work with Jamil and Carol Dweck, I educate participants about another mechanism that sustains cynicism: self-fulfilling prophecies. Cynics generally assume the worst in others and treat them with hostility, then receive the same hostility in turn. Likewise, however, trust can be self-fulfilling: trusting others is like a compliment, a gift, to them; a gift they often want to pay back by becoming more trustworthy. By instilling in our participants a mindset of trust as self-fulfilling, we hope to increase their levels of trust.
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There seem to be many misunderstandings of cynics, describing them as either "negative people" to stay away from, or as brilliant observers of a corrupt human nature. Neither approach strikes me as compelling, and both seem to only reinforce people's cynicism.
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I am developing several others lines of research at this point, so please reach out with any thoughts or remarks whatsoever! Always happy to brainstorm a potential collaboration, or to just chat about related ideas.
Reach out at: ericnm@stanford.edu